


Beastly Behavior

by Ours1sTh3Fury



Category: The Magicians (TV)
Genre: Belly, Belly Kink, F/M, Feedism, The beast - Freeform, Weight Gain, Weight Gain Kink, chubby martin chatwin, feedee, feeder, he deserves a redemption arc dammit, little fluffy, wg
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-03
Updated: 2019-02-01
Packaged: 2019-10-03 12:02:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17283707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ours1sTh3Fury/pseuds/Ours1sTh3Fury
Summary: It's the 32nd time he's been through this but this time is different. This time he got sloppy, got caught. Jane calls in a doctor so she can put the Beast down before he becomes a threat. She never imagined that the doctor would say no.Stays fluffy (recovery, world and plot development, trust building, etc) for a while, get's more sexually inclined as it goes on. Primarily weight gain kink.TW: Reference (but no graphic depictions of) to a previous sexual assault.





	1. Let Me Try

The prisoner struggled in his bonds but all he got for his trouble was another jolt of electricity. He whimpered and shyed back into the darkness. Cold, wet air closed in around him. The very walls themselves threatened to crush him.

A warm hand found his. He reached out to take it but the shackles pinned him to the chair, wrists and fingers. He struggled to see through the dark, stripped of his magic, his wards, his defences, and his pride. The hand held his cheek. A familiar voice floated to him, slowly, as though the weight of the air acted on it to.

“I am so, so sorry” he sucked in a pained breath, drowned out by the shattering of the bones in his hand, “But this is for your own good”

\---

“Gods, he looks awful” the professor grimaced and took another sip of her coffee, “How long has he been like this?”

Jane pulled back from her reverie. “Since he got here. Dean Fogg thought you might like a look at him. Perhaps succeed where we couldn’t”

“I’m touched you have such faith in my research Jane”

The red headed woman favored her companion with a smile, “your thesis on magic’s connection to the psyche struck a chord”. She returned to watching the prisoner hanging limp in his chair, too starved and tired to struggle. “What are your thoughts?”

“At a glance? Imprisonment isn’t doing him any favors” she studied the outline of the man, all they could see of him shrouded in darkness, “Afflicted, certainly. And powerful in the extreme. Do recall any mention of ambience?”

“Regrettably no. Inform me?”

“It’s a magicians external psyche. A sort of second skin for the mind” with a few deft movements she cast a filter over their viewing window. A dull glow surrounded the prisoner, cracked and torn in innumerable places.

The professor indicated a particular tear, “That there is an old trauma, too big to be sudden and growing. A fear of confinement maybe, perhaps the broken hands. That smaller one just there, I imagine you have something to do with that. His ambience has more damage than whole space. That dark spot in his middle is my main concern. He may be cursed or something worse. Remarkably, he’s mostly mentally intact”

“Professor, is that a note of disapproval I hear?”

“It is. Forgive me Jane, I see that you read my studies but if you had understood them we would have a very different scene in front of us”

She tensed visibly, then relaxed just as suddenly, “I understood just fine. Some cases, however, are beyond help”

The professor replied cooly, “Some may be, but in my time I’ve never seen one. And here I thought you called me in to help you make up your mind. Shall we have a closer look at this monster of yours?”

\----

“Hello Martin. I’m Doctor Virgil Flicker, you can call me Virgil or Flick if you like, most do. I have some questions for you, but there’s one thing to do before we get to those. First, may I have your permission to touch you. Just your hands that is. I’d like to give you something for the pain”

She could feel Jane’s gaze boring holes in the back of her neck even as Martin looked as though he had just seen the strangest beast of his life. “I… yes” then more meekly, “please”

She applied a salve and a spell and within moments he could feel the pain subside. He sighed, marginally more comfortable than he had been before. 

“Is that better?”

He nodded. The sleepless shadows beneath his eyes were visible even in the low light, the hollows of his cheeks spoke of the long time that had passed since his last meal. For all the tragedy of his appearance, they remained a glimmer of defiance. 

“Can you tell me how long you’ve been here?”. He shook his head. “How about why you’re here?” he shook his head again.

“D’you… d’you work with the watcherwoman?” he managed. 

“The watcherwoman? I’m afraid I don’t know who that is”

“It’s her. Behind you. Don’t play me for a fool” he scoffed, “I’d know that hood anywhere”

Virgil quirked an eyebrow and made a note to ask Jane about it later. “So be it. But I do not work for her. May I examine you? I’d like to know the extent of your injuries. Know that you can ask me to stop any time and I will”

“You’re a very strange doctor”

“You’re a very strange patient”

He gave her a humorless laugh, “go on then. Have an inventory” he said listlessly. 

Martin sat quietly, save for the occasional grunt or repressed whine, while she examined his wounds. She took a full stock, not just of the physical, but the magical injuries as well. Physically, his hands were the worst of his problems. Painful but with the potential to heal cleanly. His magical injuries, however, were extensive. Now she was near him she could feel the fever heat coming of off him, the shakiness of his magic, and, most notably, the amputation of his shade.

“Oh, that’s fascinating….Martin, I need to check something. I need to place my hand just above your stomach. Is that alright?”

“I’d rather you didn’t. It hurts”

“I see. That’ll be all then. Is there anything you need before I go?” she asked. His face registered no change as he shook his head, but a thrum of dismay came off of him loud and clear.

\---

“I’m disappointed Jane. Torture is below you. I presume you’re this.... watcherwoman?”

She crossed her arms, “He’s dangerous. The watcherwoman is someone who haunted us in Fillory, dead a long time now. He’s delusional”

“If you want me to help you, don’t lie to me” Virgil said, “I may not be able to see specifics but I’d have seen a delusion if he had any and I assure you he doesn’t. In fact, that’s one of the most fascinating things about him. He should be mentally shattered, but he’s quite intact. He’d make a fascinating case study”

Jane sighed, “You want honesty? Fine. He’s hopeless. Fascinating or not, there’s no fixing him. I only need your agreement on that so Dean Fogg will agree to have him put down”

“You won’t be getting it”

“What?”

Virgil rounded on Jane, “I disagree. I think there’s hope. Small, faint hope perhaps but not hopeless. Help me understand Jane, why is it you hate him so much?”

“I don’t hate him he’s a monster” she seethed.

“Really? Because most people, save for sociopaths, would feel empathy for someone in his current position but you don’t. I know you well enough to know that you’ve got a good heart, definitely not a sociopath at the very least. You broke his hands and starved him when the dampening room should have been easily enough. You wouldn’t do any of this unless you hated him in a personal way” 

Jane drummed her fingers on the table, shaking her head. “It’s for his own good. He captured and tortured the man who cared for him, who loved him dearly. He abused the wellspring of magic. He killed one of the gods of Fillory. He’s a danger to himself and to others”

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why would he do that?”

“If you can get a better answer from him than I did, more power to you. He refused to answer me. I can only assume that he doesn’t have a good reason” she shook her head again. “Believe me, I don’t hate him. I only want to stop him from turning into the Beast” 

Virgil sighed, “and that’s admirable, but in my experience abuse is what turns men into beasts in the first place. If you have ever loved him, at least let me try. Something is very magically wrong here and if you don’t at least give him a chance, you’re murdering an innocent man. You’re better than that”

Jane scoffed, “He’s no innocent” but then her expression softened, “you think you can fix him?”

“I can certainly try”


	2. Well, Aren't You Fascinating?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Martin and Virgil start getting down to business. If you're looking for heavier kink, next chapter. Bare with me. There wasn't a good, consenting way to jump straight in.

Martin hugged the mug of soup, perched on his chair and looking mistrustfully around the room as though an attack might come from anywhere at any moment. The anti-casting bracelets chafed at his wrists, his broken hands still throbbed from the bone setting. Still, it felt wonderful to be clean and unbound.

He could hear Virgil preparing a guest room for him not far away, the room in front of him was comfortable and clearly belonged to a scholar. The walls were royal blue and dark grey, lined with shelves upon shelves of books and odd looking instruments. Most of the furniture was black leather or redwood. Though clean there was clutter on just about every surface and an air of being lived in filled the room. He took another sip of soup, having decided that if she meant to poison him she wouldn’t have bothered to clean him up first and, frankly, he felt he’d rather die with a full stomach than an empty one.

“May I see your hands?” 

Martin jumped in surprise, spilling a bit of soup on himself in the process. Virgil flicked her wrist and the spill disappeared, “Apologies, I tend to have that effect on people”. He gave her his hands and she applied more salve, “Are you finding this more agreeable?”

“Immensely. But a prison is a prison no matter what you dress it up as”

Virgil half smiled, “True. But this is not a prison. If you want to leave, I won’t stop you. You’ll suffer no consequences at my hand. Bearing that in mind, do you still want to be studied?”

“I owe you a debt of gratitude, do I not?”

“No, actually, you don’t. What I’ve done for you I’ve done of my own volition, you owe me nothing”

He opened his mouth, then closed it again at a loss for words. He stared quietly while she rewrapped the bandages on his hands. “Then I should like to stay. Though I promise you, I’m not a subject of great interest”

“I disagree” she told him, “for example, most people would never amputate their own shade. Yet here you sit with no shade, clearly something you did to yourself. You shouldn’t be able to feel anything but the most primal emotions, in theory that is”

He raised an eyebrow, “You’ve got quite a lot of theories. And a lot of wards for someone who isn’t afraid to have an acclaimed lunatic in her home”

“Spare me. I know a mad man when I see one and you’re not mad. The wards are to satisfy your former captors and to keep you safe” 

He laughed, “You must be joking”

“Not even a little. They wanted you dead, presumably for your own good. I disagree. Maybe at my peril. But if you kill me in this life, the time loop starts over and we try again” She flicked her wrist and set the kettle to boil, “I personally feel this is less bloody than the last fifty three times”

“I got lazy” he admitted, “I thought I could wait until they sent the children after me again. Brutish as it was, it was clever. To answer your question, yes, I did take it out myself. I cannot fully explain its impacts”

“Then I know my first task, don’t I?”

“Why bother?”

“We know precious little about shades. About the psyche and how it relates to magic other than that great tragedy can beget great power. I just think there’s more to it. This a long discussion best had a another time. Finish your soup, you’ll be famished in the morning if you don’t”

\---

Regret looked like nine cinnamon rolls and a package of bacon. Shame, on the other hand, was nowhere to be seen. Martin sat back and tried to stifle a hiccup. He appreciated that the thought synced silverware was meant to accommodate for his hands, but it acted more on what he wanted rather than what he thought and that had gotten him into his current state. He could hear the smile in Virgil’s ‘Good morning’.

He tried to negotiate himself into a position that put less pressure on his belly. It was the fourth day of being studied and he had to give it to her, he didn’t feel like a lab rat. He returned her greeting as warmly as he could, half dazed back to sleep. 

“You sound like you need coffee more than I do” she teased, “You want a mug while I’m up?”

“Please” he sighed, sitting forward again to take advantage of a rare moment to observe her rather than the other way around. For someone that could cook so well, she was rather fit. Her red-brown hair was short, but shaggy as though she had forgotten to cut it then decided not to bother. She didn’t hold herself like most people, but the reason eluded him. It was her eyes that struck him the most. What, in half-light, he had mistaken for blue was actually dark, rich purple. He could help but feel equal parts fascinated and unnerved when she watched him.

“I’m trying to decide,” she spoke up, pouring her own cup now, “if your hyperactive sweet tooth is a symptom or a personality trait”

“A symptom? So you’ve decided I’m broken after all?” 

She snapped her fingers and his sugar and cream with a dash of coffee floated over to him. “Broken? Not at all. But I do think you’re suffer side effects from not having a shade. Sort of like having lost a kidney. Craving sugar would make sense because it causes a dopamine release in the brain, something you would’ve otherwise gotten from happiness or love” 

“You act as though I’ve pulled out my liver”

“You more or less did. I’ve done short term studies with others who didn’t have their shades. All of them had it taken or removed it themselves. Amputation can work miracles on emotional pain. It destroys the ability to feel strong empathic emotion, leaving behind the more primal feelings; lust, fear, and so on. That’s actually a seminal paper of mine. It used to be thought that shadelessness was the root of sociopathy. I assure you, it is not. What I discovered from them was that it serves a purpose beyond feeling” she cast and showed him his ambience, “the hurts of life… the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune take their toll on everyone as they age. The shade is more than a sensory organ, it heals too. Removing it is like self-inflicted leprosy, you can’t feel it but make no mistake the wounds are there. It’s more like you ripped out part of your nervous system”

Martin watched the glow around him fade, his stomach turned a little at the note of foreboding in her voice. He cocked his head to the side, “Can I see yours?”

She raised an eyebrow, “See my what?”

“Your ambience” he clarified, feeling blood rush to his cheeks, “You’ve seen mine after all. I’d like to know what I’m dealing with”

Virgil pondered it a moment, “I don’t believe I’ve been asked to do this before. You really are something. Well, I don’t see any harm in it. Why not?” as quickly as she had for him, her own ambience was made visible. 

He frowned, “you’re isn’t exactly pristine either”

“No one’s is” she told him.

“Those will heal then? Even the big one?” he asked.

She sighed, “Do you see this one?” she indicated one of the more recent scars, “Her name was Natalie, she was twenty two and had too much to drink at the wrong party. She had her shade stolen for sale on the hedge market. Died of her wounds two years later”. This time she indicated an open hole, sizable and ragged around the edges “His name was Tyson, he tore his out himself so that it wouldn’t hurt so much to see his mother getting beaten every night. He killed his father and, through the magical drain on his shade, himself”. The last tear she pointed to was long, slender, but mostly closed, “That was Mia. She was seven. I don’t know how she lost her shade. Her mother was a hedge cultist so I could hazard a guess, I didn’t get a chance to help her because she died within a week of her first visit”. Virgil sighed, “I need you to understand Martin, drinking from the wellspring has kept you alive this long but the well’s run dry. I’m going to try everything I can to restore your shade, but I need to know now if you don’t want me to”

Martin, for his part, was looking remarkably pale. He pointed again to the large, inflamed looking hole in her ambience, “Who was that?”. Virgil’s face went flat, her eyes looked through him but then she gathered herself again, “That,” she told him, “was not a patient” 

Backtracking quickly, Martin asked, “Do I have a say? Couldn’t you have given the ones before me their shades back?”

As her ambience faded out of view, she pulled up the chair across from him. “Most don’t want it back. The rest never got the chance to try. I don’t mean to scare you Martin, I’ll accept your choice whatever it is and you don’t have to make one now. I want you to be aware, however, that not having a shade is a lethal condition”

“If I take it back, it will hurt”

“It’ll hurt beyond measure” she agreed, “but you’ll heal. You’ll live. You won’t be alone”

\---

Two weeks passed, Virgil took to her books with a passion making the occasional break through but not quite pulling the pieces together. Martin was left largely to amuse himself whenever she wasn’t around and given the state of his hands, that proved a difficult task. 

“I’m going for a walk and you can come with me if you like”

“Oh gods please, yes. I’m dying of boredom” he jumped up and went to put on his vest and jacket, but found that he couldn’t quite manage the buttons without all of his whole hand and swore when the effort bent his finger. 

“Let me help?”

He let his hands fall to his sides, pouting. The dismay he felt at being unable to dress himself was drowned in a fresh wave of embarrassment when he realized just how snug his clothes were fitting, he took in a breath to thank her and felt one of the middle buttons pop off. He stared, mortified.

With only a twitch of her fingers the button was in her her hand. A bit more intricate work, she traced the seams of the garment with her hand, making his vest looser while also making him wish his pants were looser too. He bit his cheek, “Suppose I should cut down a little?”

“On the contrary, you’re finally getting to a healthy weight. No man of your stature should weigh so little”

“I think I misheard you. I could swear you just called me healthy”

“Not being muscular isn’t unhealthy, being sedentary is. Another good reason to go for a walk”

He sucked in his stomach nonetheless. 

\---

“There you are… Oh, those look rather handsome on you actually” she said, tilting his chin in her hand partly to see him from all angles, partly to check his pulse to see if he was getting stressed. “What do you think?”

“I’d forgotten what crisp vision looked like. How did you know I needed glasses?”

“Not hard to guess. When we were in the library you had that book so close to your nose I thought you’d fallen asleep”

“I- thank you” he responded. “For the glasses and the compliment”

\---

Martin huffed, trying to keep pace with Virgil. She had introduced him to burgers and fries for lunch and it had him feeling stodgy. “No one… with legs so.. Bloody short… has any right… to this kind of speed” he puffed. Virgil slowed her step, “Sorry, force of habit. Let’s sit a moment” she led him by the hand to a nearby bench which he readily collapsed on only to have the rogue button from earlier make another bid for liberty. 

“Bollucks!” he growled.

Virgil laughed, “It’s a stubborn one isn’t it? Oh, dear, there’s no need to blush. No one saw” 

He placed a hand over the gap only to feel that his shirt was exposing a bit his undershirt. “Call me vain, but I like it when my clothes fit” 

She scrutinized him, “You’re not telling me the whole truth” she dismissed it with a wave of her hand, “but you’re entitled to your privacy. Tell you what, I’ll send the clothes you have to get resized and see about getting you a few new pieces as well. I admire the gentlemanly attire, but you would have to live with tshirts and sweats or jeans for a few days”

“Why are you so kind to me?”

“Because it seems to me that you’re in desperate need of a bit of kindness”


	3. Call Me Vain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Martin (particularly his waistline) starts to feel the impacts of having someone looking after him.

“I feel like a slob” he admitted.

“Just think how much better you’ll feel when everything comes back crisp, clean, and fitting perfectly” Virgil reassured him. She checked his outputs one more time before drawing blood, “How strange...”

“What else about this situation could possibly be more strange?”

“Oh come now, have some imagination” she quipped, “what’s strange at the moment is that I’m picking up frequencies from you that shouldn’t be there”

Martin raised an eyebrow, “good or bad?”

“A bit of both. I’ll need to analyze that further”

“Are you sure it’s not just breakfast? Because I think I more than gave my body something to whine about” 

“Martin Chatwin, is that humor I hear?” she teased. “For someone who seems to be bothered by the weight, you certainly make light of it. All pun intended”

“I eat because it’s delicious and it makes you smile, I make light of it because you give me this look and it makes me feel handsome. To put it less politely, gluttony and vanity”

“You’re not vain” she assured him. “I, on the other hand, am very vain about my cooking. Kudos on the well placed compliment”

He quirked an eyebrow, “but I am a glutton?” he pretended to be hurt, “I admit, you have me there. Even as a kid I had an appetite, I wasn’t allowed to indulge it of course. Perhaps if I had I might have better impulse control”

“Last night you ate an entire bowl of cookie dough. You don’t have poor impulse control, you have no impulse control. Hang on, why not?”

“My father thought sweets were for girls, infants, and nancy boys. My.. guardian had concerns about my figure” he ruminate on that thought for a moment, “he would be quite put off if he saw me at your table. I admit, there’s some pleasure in that”

“Sounds like he was a bastard”

“You have no idea” he said wryly, “but I’ve already said too much. So, tell me, what exactly about my internal noises are you looking for?” 

“So give me an idea. I was tuning into where your shade ought to be. Come here, I’ll show you”. He approached cautiously and put on the stethoscope like instrument and listened right below her sternum, hyper-conscious of how close they were. A hushed sound, like a light wind or the breathing of some enormous beast. He started, suddenly being propped up by a concerned looking Virgil.

“Martin? You almost passed out”

“Hmm? I nodded off, sorry. It sounds so calming”

She raised an eyebrow, “That’s a new adjective for it. You can’t hear your own shade so I’m not really sure what you mean. Yours should be silent but it’s not anymore. There’s a sort of echo, the sort of noise you get when you tap on something hollow” she held him down when he tried to get up, “not so fast. Lightheaded, dizzy, or nauseated?”

He shook his head, “None of the above. Feel like I could fall asleep at any moment though”

“How very, very strange”

\---

Dean Fogg strode up to Martin, “Well Mr Chatwin, you’re in much better shape than last I saw you” he said congenially. Martin shyed back imperceptibly, just enough to feel Virgil’s presence next to him. “Yes, well, it’s hard to get lower than that isn’t it?” he said airily. 

Virgil sighed, “Boys, play nice”. She closed her laptop and joined them at the table. “Dean Fogg, you know why I’ve called you here?”

He nodded, “You want to attempt to summon a shade. I’m sure you understand the things that can go awry in this process”

“I do. And there are two paths I can take. The safer would be to summon Persephone herself and beseech her. The more likely route is to summon the shade directly”

“So, risk making an enemy of a goddess, or open a portal to whatever wants to come through?”

“That’s about the sum of it” 

Martin shifted uncomfortably in his seat, “You want to summon my shade. You do realize that might kill you? And that’s if it still exists to respond”

“I honestly think it’s the best chance. It’s never been done, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be done. I did, however, want you to be a part of this conversation for another reason. Do you want your shade back? If you don’t I won’t force it on you, but we need to know if we should proceed”

He drew a hand through his hair, “I can’t ask you to do that”

“You’re not asking, I’m offering” she reminded him. “If you do get it back, it will hurt like nothing you’ve ever felt before. If you don’t, you’ll die”

“I… I’ll have it back. How can I help?”

“You and I will have to sit down and see about what would have enticed you to come running when you were about fourteen. Fogg, can you handle the supplies?”

“I can. I look forward to the paper you’ll write if you live”

“You’re evershining optimism brings me joy Fogg”

\---

Martin winced as the bandages came off. It was still dark out, but he and Virgil had been up most of the night perfecting the summoning circle. She very gently flexed each of his fingers and directed him to try it on his own. “There you are. You’ll be a bit stiff, but a bit of practice and it’ll be like they were never broken”

He sank back into the leather armchair, trying to flex the ache from his fingers. “Hi ho, if love were all” he sang to himself. Virgil smiled, “You have quite the repertoire of show tunes for someone who’s been living in a world without theater”

“I always popped in every month or so. I’ve always felt safer in Fillory but now and again I get the craving for home” he admitted. “That reminds me, I’ve got a question for you. If I can’t feel any true emotions, how is it I can still feel?”

“What’s it you’re feeling?”

“I’d rather not say”

“Very well,” Virgil pushed her glasses further up the bridge of her nose, “That’s different from the others I’ve worked with. If I had to guess, it’s probably a bit like sociopathy. It’s not so much that you can’t feel anything as it is that you lost the capacity for empathy. There’s a logical equivalent. You might know in your head that you should feel something and your body will act accordingly but the reaction is, to put it concisely, more head than heart. Does that sound right?” 

“That’s.. Maybe. I’m not great with the whole expression of emotion business”

“What, because you don’t have a shade?”

“No, because I’m british”

Virgil laughed, “That’s an awful excuse and you know it. Come on, give it a go or you’ll never get better”

Martin shifted in his seat, “It’s… uncomfortable. My heart is beating too fast and my stomach feels tight” 

She raised an eyebrow, “that sounds like nervousness. The question then, is why are you nervous?” 

He sighed and blurted, “I don’t want you getting hurt. Least of all on my behalf. I- it sounds odd, but it’s there”. He looked up as she sat beside him and gave his shoulder a squeeze and he felt an indistinct pang in his chest that hit him again stronger when she brushed his hair out of his face. 

“Martin, look at me” she lifted his chin so that he had to look her in the eye, “no one is going to get hurt in this. I’ve done far, far more dangerous things. The only thing different about this summoning is that the body it belongs to is still alive. We’re taking every precaution to make sure this goes well. That’s why we’ve been doing this” she indicated the summoning list they’d just drafted. “Everything is going to be okay”

“You tempt fate when you say that you know”

“Fate isn’t that petty” she kissed his forehead. “Get some rest, we’ll need to be up early”

\---

“An abandoned theater” Martin grinned, “that’s clever”

The condemned theater was filled with silence, the same kind as that of an audience just as a curtain is drawn but before the actors have taken the stage. Everywhere, dusty red velvet and scratched up hardwood. “Oooh, I dreamed a dream of days gone by!” he sang. 

“It’s a shame you didn’t become an actor, you’ve got a lovely voice” Virgil noted. 

A little heat rose in his cheeks, “Thank you. Anything I can do to help?”

“Not really. As soon as I finish drawing we should be good to go. I’ll seal him in this,” she held up a small, wooden box. “And we can do the rejoining somewhere you’ll be able to convalesce. Still nervous?” 

He swallowed hard, “More so actually”

She finished the last line, then walked up to him, “Do you remember what I told you last night?”

Martin nodded and, before she could continue, he hugged her and kissed her forehead. When he pulled back he was fully red in the face, “be careful”

Virgil gave him a quick squeeze and a nod before returning to the summoning circle. “It’ll be okay”

\---

It was not okay. Not okay at all.

The shade summoning had worked like a charm but acted like a beacon. Virgil stood stiff as a board, caught mid motion. Martin ran up the stage, stopping only at the the salt line. Her head snapped towards him, showing that her eyes had turned a murky shade of grey. Then she looked him up and down wearing the kind of grin that made the hair on the back of his neck stand up.

“Well, helloooo big boy” the voice that purred out of Virgil’s mouth didn’t belong to her and the moment it fell on his ears he felt dizzy, inflamed. “Not a bad vessel” the demon mused, “a bit stocky, could use bigger tits but it’ll do. Mhmm, taste for fatties. Oooh, and one in such ready supply”

Martin couldn’t remember sinking to his knees, but that’s where he found himself. “Get out of her” he protested. The demon beckoned him closer, his body responded “Aw, come on. We can share tubby. I see what you want. Come and get it” 

The succubus, however, did not wait for him to respond. It crossed the gap between them in three strides then grabbed him by by the crotch. Martin gasped, magically enhanced arousal hit him like a tidal wave. It took advantage of his overwhelmed senses, picking him up and pinning him against the wall, lifting him so that his legs were around her waist. One hand stayed between his legs, the other pinned his wrists over his head. He could feel the succubus breathing hot and heavy on his neck, “Oh, you like that don’t you? Go on, surrender to desire”

A moan bubbled up and went through him like an electric shock, he panted “No. No. She didn’t say y-yes to this” he shook the fog from his thoughts, “No. Get out! It’s her body. Not yours”

“GET. OUT” she roared suddenly, the collapsed into a sort of seizing fit. Magical sparks flew in the struggle and after a few tense moments Virgil kicked the succubus out into it’s own corporeal form. Before either of them could act, Martin fired of a missile, almost missing, but hitting hard enough to knock the demon back into it’s own plane. 

“Virgil!” he rushed forward to catch her as she stumbled out of the circle. “Talk to me. Are you hurt?”

She swayed in place, crackling with magical energy. She held onto his shirt with one fist and in a snap of her fingers they were back in her flat. In a rough landing they fell back hard, landing on her bed. He could feel her chest heaving so he wrapped an arm around her, the way she did to him when he’d been having nightmares. 

“You okay?” she managed.

“Everything’s okay. The bloody hell was that?”

“A succubus” she answered, “Rude little bastard too. Glad I put out the salt. Ugh, I’ve heard possession is unpleasant but this was next level. Didn’t do anything embarrassing did I?” A shudder ran through her, but then she grinned, “got what we came for though. Can I just say that knowing chocolate is literally the way to your soul is wonderful?” She tried for a laugh, blue sparks flicked off of her and her entire body was shaking.

Martin’s heart sank, “you’re not okay”. He held her tighter, as though that alone could keep her together. She squeezed his hand, then tried to get up. The world spun around her, she hit the ground, all was dark.

\---

It had been three day since the summoning. Virgil, admittedly, had been unconscious for two of them. The university emergency contact had assured Martin the first day that Virgil was only suffering exhaustion and just needed to sleep it off. So, naturally, he didn’t leave her bedside for two days. Now awake, if a bit shaky, Virgil sat on the leather couch with a book in hand.

“Martin, you’re fretting. You’re… fretting. That- that’s good actually” she mused while he busied himself making tea. “It means just having your shade near you is expanding your capacities. Fascinating…” 

He sat heavily beside her with a plate of brownies and two mugs of tea. “Or, heaven forbid, I can see that you shouldn’t be up and about after casting a demon out by sheer force of will but then if you can do that I should already know you can out stubborn a brick wall”. He reached for a brownie and was able to enjoy the first two bites before the words came back to him. Martin put a hand on his stomach, “She called me tubby”.

Virgil quirked an eyebrow, “She tried to jerk you off and you’re upset about the name calling? She was trying to get under your skin, that’s all” Virgil soothed, correcting her tone to the situation “Don’t believe a word of it”

“Not even the part about you liking ‘fatties’?”

The temperature rose a few degrees around her face. “No, that part was true” she said lightly. 

He popped the rest of the brownie in his mouth and smirked, “so that’s why you’re not bothered by my eating habits”. He ate two more in quick succession, making a show of licking the chocolate off of his fingertips. “Not bothered by me getting bigger” Another “outgrowing my clothes” Another “or generally making a pig of myself” Another “Ohh… this is harder than I thought it would be…” he groaned, holding his now aching belly. 

Virgil let him lay down on her lap, “You ate too fast. I hope you realize this is extremely unprofessional and absolutely reeks of Stockholm Syndrome” she sighed, “If you’d like, I know a trick to get rid of stomach aches”

“Yes, please. It’s not Stockholm’s. I can hardly be a prisoner when you leave the door open. Besi- ahhh… oh! Oohhhh… that’s divine…” he moaned. She rubbed soothing circles on his lower belly, noticing every ounce of soft, plump belly weight he’d packed on while he stayed with her. “Still technically inappropriate for a patient” she pointed out. He hummed, “I prefer to think of myself more as your loud but devilishly handsome flatmate” 

She rolled her eyes, “You’re something alright”


	4. Summoning, Shades, and Cinnamon Rolls

“Did you pad the walls? It looks like you’ve prepared for the world’s most explosive mental breakdown” Martin quirked an eyebrow. “How bad are you expecting this to be?” He eyed her discreetly, hoping she had the magical strength to intervene if something went awry. It had only been about a week since the possession and Virgil was still unsteady on her feet.

She squeezed his shoulder, “Let’s hope I’m overprepared. You go through with this and you’ll get hit with every emotion that you’ve been holding off for the past however many years. In theory anyway”

“And the cookies and stuff on the table?”

“I think I was right about your body craving dopamine. Not to mention you’re always happier after you’ve eaten” 

Martin sat on the edge of the bed and studied the wooden holding case, “You’ve really thought this through”

She sat next to him, “Well, it is my job after all”

“Am I your job?”

“That’s not how I think of you”

“And what happens after… after it goes back?” he shifted his feet, “I have to go?”

Virgil beckoned him and he lay his head on her shoulder, “You,” she kissed his cheek, “are always welcome here. In fact, if you still want to at the end of this, you can stay as long as you like”. He sighed, lacing his fingers in hers and kissed the back of her hand. 

“I could take you to Fillory too if you like. I’d love to return the favor” he nosed her cheek, “take a vacation”

She kissed his cheek, “Let’s see how you feel after. Are you ready?”

He nodded. Then, in one swift movement he crushed the wooden box beneath his heel. A young, thin, gangly Martin appeared in the corner, nibbling on a chocolate bar. The shade looked up at them and curled into a tight ball, “you sent me away, but you brought me sweets. Why’d you do that?”

Martin stared, dumbfounded and looking guiltier than any sin. His shade walked up to him, “you want me back. I can hear it. Why should I? You put me out. Just like Ember and Umber or don’t you remember” the shade was fuming now, tears streaking his cheeks, “You don’t have to remember what it feels like but I do! You abandoned me by the roadside like Jane, like Fillory, like bloody everyone” it sobbed. Blue flecks of magic flickered around him, illuminating his face with an eerie glow.

Finally, Martin found his tongue, “But I’m here now.... I’ll never take you out again. Word as bond. I-I fucked up. Hey, look at me,” he lifted the shades chin, “I know you hurt. I remember that much but I found out recently that the only way either of us can get better is together. You need me to heal you just as much as I need you to be whole again. We can do this over, do it better”

The shade sniffled, “The past is gone but the future is still ours?”

Martin raised an eyebrow, “I heard that long after we separated. How did you come to know it?”

“I never stopped listening” the shade smirked, “Thought maybe one day you’d take me back. We never stop trying do we?”

A smile twitched at the corners of Martin’s mouth, “does this mean you’ll take me back?”

“Two conditions;” the shade raised two fingers, “One, no more enjoying dessert without me. That’s just mean. And two, we need to kiss her” the younger Martin turned to see Virgil’s shocked face, “that nervous feeling he keeps getting. It’s butterflies. He gets all jittery when he sees you but he need me to say it. He wants to kiss you really bad, he just doesn’t know it yet”

“By the gods” Martin blushed a bright, bright red. 

Virgil laughed, “I find those terms agreeable. You stick with him and I’ll make sure that you enjoy a lot of dessert in the near future. You like chocolate Martin?”

The shade nodded vigorously. Virgil stooped to a knee so she could look him in the eye, “As soon as you two get to feeling like yourself, hot cocoa and triple chocolate cookies. How does that sound?”

“Like I’m a lucky bastard” the boys sighed together. Virgil kissed the top of his head, “we have an agreement?”

“Seal it with a kiss?”

“Honestly, you look like you’re eight and I have a lot of problems with kissing a child”

He looked at her like she was a goddess, mouth hung open. His older self was doing a variant of the same thing. “That is,” she said to Martin, “assuming you’re okay with it”

Both boys made a soft “Mhmm!” sound. Virgil sat down next to the elder, “Is that a yes?”

They both nodded. Virgil leaned over and gave her Martin a kiss full on the mouth that made his heart thump half out of his chest. When they broke apart he looked up at her lightheaded and breathless. He leaned forward for another go, “can we… can we do that for a while instead?” he sighed. 

The shade huffed, “can we do it later? It’s chilly out here”

Martin nodded, “Fair enough. I feel weird with myself watching me” He swallowed hard, “Let’s do it”

The shade walked up to him, “sorry about this”. He walked into him and disappeared. Martin’s face went slack for a moment, then contorted violently in pain. A sob heaved out of his chest. Virgil eased him back onto the bed and stroked his hair, “It’s alright. Shhhh… it’ll pass…”

\---

Martin sniffled, red eyed and ragged. Virgil wrapped the patchwork quilt tighter around him and helped him sit up. She brushed his hair back from his eyes, “Any better today?”

He shook his head. He responded, voice hoarse from sobbing, “It’s been a week. Why do feeling have to..” he gestured vaguely, “feel so much?” 

She kissed his forehead, “you’ll get the hang of them. I think I can show you something that will help. Would you like that?”. When he nodded she cast a quick spell to show him his ambience. The glow surrounded him, still riddled with holes. “Do you see that?”

“It looks miserable” 

“Look again” she squeezed his hand. “That one’s closed up entirely. Those? Not as big as they were before. I know it hurts Martin, but you’re healing. You’re hands didn’t heal overnight, not in a week either. Just because it doesn’t look like a broken bone doesn’t mean you’re not injured. Just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean it’s not getting better”

He cuddled into her lap, fresh tears streaking his face. She kissed the top of his head, “tell you what. If you feel up to it, let’s get you a shower and a suit. Go for a walk. Get lunch at that new burger place. Might make you feel a little more yourself” 

“You think so?”

“Can’t know until we try. And if it gets to be too much, I’ll take you straight home” 

\---

“If you eat like that you won’t be hungry later” she teased.

Martin was simultaneously running a comb through his wet hair and downing his fifth cinnamon roll. When he looked up to respond his mouth was full and his beard was coated in frosting. “But it’s so good” he groaned.

She helped him into his jacket, “You’re adorable. You eat as much as you want darling. I’ve been thinking, if you’d like I can order ahead and we can have a picnic instead”. Virgil handed him a damp towel she could wipe the frosting out of his beard. He thought about it for a second, “You’re keeping me from being around other people”

“Well, technically, the terms of my agreement with Brakebill’s state that you’re not to leave my place at all. That sounds too much like imprisonment so I elected to ignore it” she said off handedly. 

Martin stared at her, “Virgil Flicker! You’ve been breaking the rules this whole time!” he leaned across the table, chin in his hands. “Aren’t you something?”. He walked up and hugged her, “Thank you for being so belligerent”

She stroked his hair, “Any time love”

\---

They lay on the blankets watching the clouds pass by around them, framed by the changing leaves. Martin lay back and pulled a quilt up over them. Virgil cupped his chin, “You think this is a good idea?”

He nuzzled her cheek, “Why wouldn’t it be?”

“Martin, you were crying over the taste of garlic fries less than ten minutes ago”

“Is that not normal? Ooooh come on. I’m fine now”

She pressed a hand to his tummy and he whined. Virgil gave him a teasing smile, “and you haven’t even had dessert yet”. 

“There’s dessert?”. He purred and stretched for her, reaching down in shock when he felt his shirt untuck. “My gods, did that spell finally give out?”

Virgil pinched the plump bit of recently exposed tummy, “It only lets out the existing fabric. Merlin’s First Law, can’t create something out of nothing. Eating your feelings finally caught up”

He gently placed both of her hands on his belly and pouted, “don’t you like it when I eat too much?” he pressed himself up against her, “Please? You don’t need to be so professional. I feel better, really”. He smiled when she hesitated, “just one kiss?”

She spoke against his lips, “You’re still having mood swings Martin”

“Can we enjoy the upswing then?” he groaned, “oooh, if you’re going to tell me no then at least get your hands to agree. I can’t take the teasing” 

Up to that moment she hadn’t realized her hands were moving further and further up under his shirt, now positioned one on what could almost be considered a love handle and the other, much less chastely, on his chest with the thumb brushing circles around his nipple. Martin’s cheeks were flushed bright red beneath his beard and he was panting. Her lips twitched into a smile, “I suppose that’s not helping is it? I should probably stop”

“Oh gods please don’t stop” he bit his lip. She kissed him and he melted into her arms, eliciting a little gasp of pleasure every time she touched him. They broke apart, Virgil grinned “Aw, you’re so excitable. What happened to all those years of experience? My gods, Martin, you’re steaming up your glasses”

“I never knew it could feel this good” he sighed. “Have I really been missing out all these years?”

Virgil kissed his forehead, “If you get this worked up over a kiss, anything more might just blow your circuit board”

“Circuit board?”

“Computer brain. Have I not taught you how electronics work? Remind me to make a list”

He sighed and returned to burying his face in her collar, “I think you should teach me more about kissing too” 

She kissed his forehead, “Tell you what. If you can make it through dessert without a moodswing, then we’ll see. I will not be accused of taking advantage of you”

“But I’m willing” he whined.

“Yeah, I can feel how willing you are pressing up against my leg”

“Oh! Sorry, still working on the bodily control thing. It was easier without feelings” he pulled the blanket up higher around them, “you may not get a hard on love, but if you want to tell me you’re not into it you should learn to control your hands”

“So, you want me to stop”

He whined, “No, no, no. Don’t stop”

“Oh, how quickly you lose your composure” she laughed. “You really enjoy getting a belly rub that much huh?”. She pinched a little chub just under his belly button and made him squeak. “That’s a yes. Pardon the innuendo but I can feel the stiffness of your resolution”

Martin smirked, “that was awful. And I can’t help it. I never had an interest in- ah-” he blushed, then swore, “I miss being able to speak without sensibility. That is, sex is always good but I had never quite felt the need to… explore the variety”. He looked up at her over his glasses and bit his lip, “seems it only takes a taste to get me hungry”

“You do remember that we’re in a public place, yes?” 

Martin cast a spell and a shimmering orb surrounded them, blurring their surroundings and, presumably, making them invisible to the improbable passer-by. He sat up to find the dessert in their picnic basket, “Mmm, is that better?” he asked, licking icing from his fingertips.

She reached up and wiped some icing from his beard, “Very clever”. He looked like he might respond, but she was already holding a huge eclair to his lips and he couldn’t help but favor the pastry instead. He ate the entire thing and sucked the icing from her fingertips. He snapped from his trance and blushed, “I’ve really gone to the trough haven’t I?”

“I don’t know, you’ll have to eat another to be sure”

“Oh, you’re wicked” he purred.

Nonetheless he ate obediently out of her hand. And another. And another, until he felt like he might burst if he had another bite. Virgil kissed him on the forehead, “Gone to the trough. No doubt about it” 

“Uhhnnn…” he moaned queasily. Virgil coaxed him onto his side and began rubbing the ache from his overfed belly. He whimpered, caught between pleasure and agony. His breath caught in his chest, “Ooooh… oh my.. I’ma I’ma fat ass. Ugghhnnn…”

Virgil let out Martin’s belt and watched him melt into a puddle of happy little piggy. “Fat ass? You’re not even chubby yet”

“Yet?” he slurred.

“If you want” she reassured. 

He whined, “I want”


	5. Living with Sisters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the author takes care of a few plot/housekeeping things, Martin starts coping with having a shade, and Virgil let's Jane know exactly what she thinks of her.

“Hey, don’t suck it in”

Martin let his breath out and felt his belly slosh forward. He poked it with curiosity, “I’ve never been anything but thin before”

“Ah, there we are. Two hundred. You’re still pretty skinny when you haven’t eaten hun. It’s that appetite that’s making your clothes tight”

He started, “two hundred? That’s… that’s almost thirty pounds”. He crossed his arms over his belly, suddenly aware of how the tshirt hugged his body. Virgil soothed him with a hand through his hair, “what’s bothering you?”

Martin opened his mouth to respond, but another light bulb flashed on in his mind. He relaxed marginally, apprehension giving way to curiosity. The anxiety ebbed away, Martin let out a giddy laugh, “I think I like it. Not just because you like it. No, I like it because I do and it’s mine and he would have hated it” 

Virgil quirked an eyebrow, “he who?”

The couch cushion made a huffing sound as Martin sat heavily, the joy having drained from his face as suddenly as it had appeared. Virgil pulled a blanket around him and held him close, anticipating tears. But as he nestled under her chin he didn’t cry. 

“Plover” he almost whispered it, “can we talk about this as someone I care for, not as professor and patient?”

Again, Virgil soothed him, “Of course”

“He used to take pictures of.. Of me that were, shall we say, inappropriate. As a child. Then he… acted on them. In exchange, my siblings were allowed a peaceful, undisturbed childhood” he felt Virgil stiffen, her grip on him tightened as though she could try to protect him from assaults of the past. He cuddled up to her chest, “he never let me have sweets because he liked me thin. For the years I thought if I could please him it would be over. I really, really wanted to be what he liked. Is it bad that I love that he’d hate the way I look right now?”

Virgil kissed the top of Martin’s head, “No love. I think spite can be a good healer. I am biased, I do enjoy how you look with the weight”

He looked up, smile returning to him, “that’s definitely a bonus. And good, because your cooking has spoiled me rotten”

She squeezed his belly and he yipped, then she kissed his neck and he lifted his chin obediently to receive. “It’s high time someone spoiled you. Be careful talking like that, if I get inspired to really cook you’ll gain a lot more than thirty pounds”

“I didn’t even know that would turn me on before I met you” he mused. “You can make me as chubby as you want” he purred.

“That’s a bold promise to make before breakfast”

“I know”

 

\---

“I didn’t realize you could actually get full” Virgil laughed.

“I *hic!* pride myself on my zeal and… oh…” he moaned. He lay splayed out on the couch, reclined into Virgil’s lap, stomach so bloated it looked as though a small beach ball had been inflated beneath his shirt, stretching the confines of his vest. Virgil rubbed his belly one handed, not needing to look up from her book. “Ohh, that’s a bit.. Ah.. tender” he groaned.

She shifted her hand, “better?”

“Uhuh…” he cuddled up to her, “Virgil?” 

“Hmm?”

“Why did you summon my shade directly? It would’ve been safer to summon the goddess”

Virgil stroked his hair absently. The room seemed to cool a little. “You’ve been honest with me, I will with you” she sounded more like she was trying to convince herself but he decided not to say so. “The ritual that summons Our Lady Underground has recently been answered by her bastard son. A lesser god. That’s why Fogg said to summon her would make an enemy. If I threatened her son’s life, that would’ve worked. If I had killed him, and I very likely would have, it would have ended poorly for everyone”

“Why would you have killed him then?”

She sighed, then snapped her fingers to show him her ambience. The large, ragged hole he had seen the first time she had shown him was still very much there and inflamed despite the passing of time. She pointed to it, “Her name is- was Faith. She tried to summon our Lady and got her son, Reynard the Fox. He killed everyone in the summoning, then… took liberties with her. She ripped her own shade out because she couldn’t live with it. A week later, she died without it”

Martin lay very still, unsure of what to say. Instead, he kissed her hand, gently. “That… that explains a lot”

Virgil quirked an eyebrow, “Does it?”

“It definitely explains why a leading expert on shade and spirit magic got her degree as a Druid honorary and has a library primarily composed of anything but shade magic. Traumatic loss of a loved one would inspire that sort of career change” he nuzzled her arm, sounding childish but in the most lovable way “I’m sorry you got hurt”

She kissed his forehead, “Life hurts love. She died in this iteration. Jane will have to answer for that, unfortunately she gets to make mistakes and the rest of us get to live with the consequences”

“Jane? My sister Jane?”

“Last time you saw her you called her the Watcherwoman. You didn’t know?”

Martin stared up at the ceiling, “I thought all my siblings were dead” 

“We could look into that if you like. I know of Jane, not the others though”

He struggled into an upright position, a look of incredulity on his face. “Jane. It’s been Jane this whole bloody time?” he scoffed, “Oh it bloody would be. 32 life times and she still hasn’t lost that goody fucking two shoes, snitching little.. Ugh….” he put his hand on his belly and leaned back marginally, “Ohh, oh gods that hurt” 

Virgil smirked, “So that’s why it’s hard to be angry on a full stomach”. She watched as Martin staggered into a standing position. He huffed again, placing one hand on his back and the other below his belly. “This,” he said, “must be what it feels like to be pregnant”. He cocked his head to the side, “This is problematic. I’m trying to work up a good anger and I seem to’ve gone soft” 

“Actually love, you got rather hard” 

Martin shook his head, “I’ve been hard since we had breakfast, that doesn’t count” Then, realizing what he had just admitted to he grinned sheepishly, “I liked it when you called me ‘big boy’”

She rose with enviable agility, “Probably for the better. Making decisions while angry tends to make things much worse”

“For a moment I thought you were talking about the arousal and I got my hopes up” he pouted. He opened his mouth to say more, but she pulled him down into a long, involved kiss. When they came up for air he fell to his knees, she lifted his chin, “No, that was getting your hopes up” then walked away.

“Oh. Oh that’s not fair” he whined, then it dawned on him, “wait. Does this mean..?”

She came back from the kitchen shortly after he heard the sound of the burner flick on beneath the kettle. The pause weighted in the air until she helped him back onto his feet. “You haven’t had a mood swing all week and you just proved to me three times over that you can process emotionally with empathy and reason” she gave him another, gentler kiss, “I hereby declare you a functional, shade restored human being”

He lit up like a puppy with a new toy. “I’m off probation?”

“You’re off probation”

\---

The Dean’s office was as it had always been. Virgil stood, hands braced on the desk. Fogg came in and closed the door behind him. 

“Dr Flicker, it’s always a pleasure to see you. You have news?”

She straightened up, “I do indeed”

Fogg sat across from her at the enormous desk, hands folded in front of him. A smart man, he had long since learned not to pressure Virgil to speak, but rather to wait for her to come forth on her own. 

“You’ll be happy to know, that in this iteration, Martin Chatwin does not become the beast”

“That’s wonderful! You… you don’t look happy”

“Henry. We need to talk about Jane” The smile slipped from the deans face. The unseasonably warm weather seemed to have lost it’s magic touch. “Torture, Henry. It took thirty two tries to get this result and she resorted to torture, to breaking his hands one bone at a time, before even considering kindness”

“I’ll have you know my methods were justified” a prim, English voice inserted itself to the conversation. Jane gave Virgil a cool look, her pale green eyes regarding the professor with interest and a touch of distaste. “My brother is a monster”

“He’s no such thing. You’re letting the other run throughs color your impressions”

“In all thirty two he grew into a hyper powered beast that kidnapped and tortured the man that gave us a home, that sheltered us when we were at our most vulnerable. He repaid the man that took us in by looking him in a dungeon. He still needs to answer for that”

Virgil felt her blood start to boil, “Sheltered YOU Jane. Do you know what your so-called hero took as payment for taking you in? Do you know what your safety cost?” she seethed. Jane scowled, “I won’t hear you defame him. If Martin’s gotten into your head-”

Virgil produced a small case from inside her coat. She had thought to check the Plover house before coming to see the Dean, the atrocity poured out over the desk. The sight of the photos set Virgil’s heart on fire. “That,” she said acidly, “was the price of your charmed childhood. That is what your sweet saint Plover did to your older brother. Thirty two times. Thirty two times Martin stood through the abuse so that the rest of you could keep living a sweet, innocent life. That’s why he did what he did. That’s why Fillory spat him out. And thirty two fucking times you turned a blind eye!” she roared.

All of the color ran out of Jane’s cheeks. The mountain of lewd photos sucked the oxygen from the room, became a center of gravity that pulled all of their eyes towards it. Voice trembling with rage, fists clenched Virgil all but growled, “You have lived far too long in a world where other’s pay the price of your passage”

Jane studied the floorboards, “This is about Faith. I told you, I’m sorry”

“Sorry won’t bring her back”

“What do you want me to do? Reset the clock again?”

“No”

“Then what, Virgil?” she huffed. There was something of her brother in her when she did that. The bit of melancholic pout that pulled the lower lip forward but the resentment in the eyes letting the receiver know that this most certainly was not the end of the discussion. Virgil sighed, “There’s nothing you can do. If you want to apologize so badly, you can apologize to Martin”

“The beast?” Jane nearly spat.

“Not the beast you stupid twat. Your brother. Your brother who saw the ‘watcherwoman’ and even in a torture chamber and no shade, spared a thought to hope she hadn’t gotten you too”

Dean Fogg jumped to his feet before either combatant could say anything else. “That’s enough! Jane, give us a moment. I’ll be with you soon”

The door slammed shut behind her. Virgil felt the rage seeping out of her, “Sorry Henry, that could’ve gone smoother” She cast and the photos flew into the box which then snapped shut with a click. Fogg’s hand fell heavy on her shoulder, “I understand. I’ll content myself with being grateful that you two didn’t blow up my office” he offered her a weak smile, “another day we can work on that. Next on our plate though is Fillory and cleaning up the wellspring. That is, after all, your original expertise. For now just enjoy the victory. The world is safe, the beast will never exist, and you’ve not only pioneered an entirely new field but you’ve accomplished the restoration of a soul. Something sorcerers have been dreaming of for millenia. You’ve earned your place in the history books, celebrate it”

\---

“I went for a walk today and no one died” 

That was the phrase that greeted Virgil when she got in the door. The encounter with Jane had left her feeling drained and a headache pulsed in her temples. “Were you expecting anyone to die?”

“Well yes, I haven’t gone out alone since I got here. You told me the door was always open but I suppose I thought… Love, what happened?” Martin was at her side in an instant. He hugged her close and kissed her temple.

“Jane showed up at the meeting. I lost my temper”

“Tell me about it, I’ll make us some tea”

He listened placidly to the whole affair, smiling and grimacing appropriately. At the end of it he grinned, “you could defang a tiger couldn’t you? You may not be in the mood to hear it, but I’m glad you did that. Told her off I mean. The Dean is right, you should be celebrating not stressing”. He kissed her cheek, chastely as a little boy. He blushed, “I love that you’re fierce”

She returned him a light kiss, then rested her forehead against his. Before she could say anything, Martin grinned. “Fogg was right about you deserving to celebrate. That walk? I may have popped back to Fillory to pick up a few things. Champagne and scotch on the counter in the kitchen, we can have a night in and just relax hm? No world ending, no angst, no bitchy sisters”

Virgil grinned, then kissed him. Then again. And again. And again. Martin moaned softly, wrapping his arms around her. “Mhmm… this works too” he purred. His stomach chose that moment to voice it’s grievances. He leaned back and poked his tummy, “you hush”

The vest he had on was formal but he had traded in the dress shirt for a flannel button up and the slacks for jeans. His beard had grown out scruffy but the same sweet, affable blue eyes looked back up at her. He smiled sheepishly, “Ignore that, it’s spoiled”

“How about let’s indulge both appetites”


	6. Now What?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which they have a drink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I bet you thought this was about to turn into a "last updated in 2007" situation. Nah.

Martin leaned back into the pillows and chugged what was left of the melted ice cream only to be fed another bite of cobbler once he had set the empty carton aside. He cleared the plate before going in for another kiss. His head spun, he felt intoxicated even though they hadn’t uncorked the bottles yet. He tried to sit up and succeeded in losing several vest buttons and a shirt button.

Undeterred, he tumbled up to his feet. His stomach was so full he had to waddle to the kitchen. When he returned with the drinks she had already produced two glasses. He’d gotten a hefty jiggle from eating too much. Several burgers and an inordinate amount of fries and ice cream weighed him down, made him stodgy. He hummed the tune of ‘the more you love a girl’. 

Virgil motioned at the fireplace and it roared to life. Her hands felt warm on his bloated belly. Sans the buttons, his stomach was exposed down to the tight, white tshirt he’d been wearing underneath. Even that had ridden up a few inches north of his belly button. He had to admit, it was a respectable start of a pot belly. She gently rubbed his aching sides, thumb circling and darting into his belly button. He moaned, blood rushing to his cheeks.

“Which part? This?” she teased, pulling him forward with her thumb in his navel. He gasped, then dropped the bottles on the bed, “Oh! Ooooh yes that…” he whined. She coaxed him back onto the bed and poured them each two drinks. One champagne, one scotch. 

“To feeling feelings” he toasted solemnly. Virgil rolled her eyes, “To rage fueled discovery” she smirked. They drank. 

“You don’t care for champagne?”

“A glass maybe. Too much fizz” she admitted. 

“Tell you what, I’ll take the fizz, you take the burny stuff. I never liked the taste anyway”

Virgil swiped Martin’s scotch glass as she stole a kiss, “deal”. She tipped the bottle to his mouth, and he chugged a few swallows until another button pinged off his shirt. “Why drink scotch if you don’t like it”

Martin stifled a hiccup, rubbing his belly, “I was informed that it was a ‘man thing’. You’ll have to be man enough for both of us because I like the girly drink”

“I take two issues with that; the first being that an inanimate liquid has a gender. The second that the arbitrarily assigned liquid gender has anything to do with your own. So be a man and sip your fizz” she teased. Martin snorted into the bottle then bubbled up to a full laugh. He nuzzled her cheek, “I like your brain. It’s clever” the a hiccup and a moan, “Oooh, tell it to be a little less clever. My stomach feels like a shaken up soda bottle” 

She rubbed his stomach gently, deftly undoing what was left of his vest and shirt, then sliding her hand up below the t-shirt and over his bare skin. He sucked in a breath and bucked his hips with a whine. He took another long draw of champagne and Virgil finished her scotch. He lay back into the pillows, willing her to follow. Glasses put aside, he reached up and kissed her hungrily. He pulled back, looking up at her shyly, “I’ve.. well, I’ve never… I’ve never slept with anyone exactly”

Virgil cocked her head to the side, “you’ve mentioned having sex before”

“Conduits during shadeless. Usually with men frankly. Never my own body... I’ve always been there but not there. I couldn’t bring myself to use my own..” he blushed hard, “I’ve heard of, read of really, of… I’m going to sound stupid” he blushed. Virgil held Martin’s face in her hands, “you don’t have to be afraid of sounding foolish. I understand, it wouldn’t have been at the front of your mind. If you ask I can help” she kissed his forehead, “I won’t laugh. I promise”

He gave her his upturned doe eyes, “Is sex different from making love?”

Virgil blinked, momentarily caught off guard. She ran her hand through his hair pensively before answering, “It’s a nuance, but I suppose so. Just sex is more mechanical in my opinion. Making love? That’s more… languid. More on a heart to heart level. Does that make sense?”

“Can we do that one instead?” he bit his lip.

“What? Make love?”

Martin nodded, trying to sink back enough to become one with the mattress. But then Virgil kissed him lightly on the forehead, “Of course love”. She stroked his cheek, “Speaking of matters of clarity, I want you to know that if you ever want me to stop all you need to do is say so. Timing doesn’t matter. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. If you ask, I’ll back off”

“You mean it?”

“I’d rather be hung out to dry than even think for a moment that I’d violated your trust”

He bit his lip, eyes alight, “I don’t know what to say with that”

Virgil shrugged, “I just want you to feel safe. That’s all. Honestly, it should go without saying but I thought you might feel better hearing it”

“I feel very, very safe” he assured her, tugging gently at her shirt until she hovered just over him. Lips nearly touching, “you know what else I feel? Like a man in love. Hopelessly so I’m afraid, even you can’t find a cure for this one. Mhmmm..”

She cut him short with a kiss, the lights dimmed, “I suppose we’re both on that sinking ship”

He caved in to her touch, to her kisses, to her attention and returned it in kind. He fumbled with her shirt, then let out an aching moan when she let his pants button spring free. She playfully pinched the chub that surged into his lap, “Are you sure you were ever skinny? Because you look pudgier every day big boy”

She saw his cock twitch through his briefs, as though the horny moan wasn’t enough. Her hands stopped at his thighs, he was already sweating, “may I?”

He groaned, “Uhnn.. take me”

\---

Martin woke up with a yelp in a cold sweat. 

“Woah, woah, woah. Martin, it’s just me. You’re okay. You’re safe” Virgil held him, rocking him gently until the hyperventilating was reduced to shivers. Bleary eyed and barely coherent, Virgil kissed the top of his head. “I’ve got you. It was only a dream” 

“That’s what I was afraid of” he mumbled into her chest, “I- I dreamed I woke up at the start of another time loop. J-Jane wasn’t convinced I w-wasn’t a monster so she restarted it. Changed it so that you’d never study shades” he shivered. “I know that’s s-selfish. I wish I could bring your sister back. But I...I like who I am with you”. Martin curled into a shivering ball, trying to hold down a sob.

Virgil kissed his head and stroked his hair. It wasn’t as though she hadn’t thought about it; having Jane restart the time loop and give her her sister back. But it was true. If Faith hadn’t died, she would never have studied shades, Martin would then never be cured. As much as it broke her heart, she knew that any other way would just lead to an endless succession of blood baths just as the thirty one tries before this one had been.

“It’s not your fault. It’s not selfish” she whispered against his ear. Her heart wrenched, “How else could this have played out love? Think about all the times before this. Yes, I resent Jane for goading my sister to the hedges. But I can’t change that. I- I wasn’t there when she needed me. If anyone is at fault, it’s me” she rested her chin on his head, throat tightening up. 

Martin sat up straight and kissed her, “you couldn’t have known”

She sighed, “maybe not. I could ward us against time magic you know. But it’s permanent. Like a video game. The farthest a time loop could ever set us back is the moment I cast the ward”

He mulled it over, “that would mean you could never have your sister back. Not even possibly. Darling, are you sure you want to do that?” He couldn’t see her face but he could tangibly feel her heartache and see what looked, in the dark, suspiciously like tears.

“I don’t want to give her up” Virgil admitted, “but I don’t want to lose you either”

He nuzzled her cheek, “we don’t have to decide right now”

“No, no I suppose not”

\---

Sunlight filtered through the heavy curtains. There was a faint chirping to be heard just outside the window. Virgil let the moment sink in, savoring every moment of it. Martin was still snuggled up to her bare chest. He had started snoring a little since he put on weight but the longer she listened, the more it was endearing or, at the very least, relatively quiet. It also gave her an opportunity to observe his figure. Most of the accumulated pudge was belly fat, a little in the chest and cheek, and a not insignificant serving to his ass and thighs. He mumbled something and for a moment she thought he was awake.

“Mmmmhmm… t’k me” he mumbled.

Virgil raised her eyebrow. Then it occurred to her that Martin was having a much more pleasant dream than he had had initially. Specifically the kind of dream that produced the hard on that was pressed up against her leg. She grinned and let him go on.

And go on he did. His moans sounded throaty, almost feral then pivoted suddenly to submissive whines punctuated with slurs of speech. “Mhmmm.. I’m yrs… ah!” 

Inspired, Virgil traced her fingertips up and down his side before trying to wake him up by giving his tummy a little squeeze. Instead of waking up he moaned and arched his back, still sleep talking, “Uuuhn… I’ma piggy” he moaned, “m’k me yr lil p’rker…”

“Martin” she kissed his forehead, “wake up you horny little sod”

He sat up with a start, “huh?”

She took in the the sight of his disheveled, chaotic appearance with a grin. “Did you know you talk in your sleep?”

“Yes, actually. It used to drive my siblings in..insane. What exactly did I say?”

“Hm, let’s see. ‘I’m yours’, ‘take me’, ‘I’m a piggy’, ‘make me your little porker’, and an impressive display of moaning” 

Martin blushed bright red. He looked, for all the world, like he’d just been caught with an extensive porn collection. “I can’t help it. Ever since you put my shade back in all the horrors I skipped in adolescence have just been pouring in and… and you don’t look even a little upset. Oooh, you like this don’t you?” he purred. He stretched, making sure his plump little belly pressed up against her. He bit his lip, “do you want me to be your little piggy?”

“Did I leave porn open on my laptop?”

“Forgive me but it was open and I was curious”

“You liked what you saw?”

He blushed, “Darling, I didn’t realize that words on a page could do that to a person”

His eyelids fluttered as she slid her hand down between his legs. An aching, deep chest moan escaped him. Martin wrapped his arms around Virgil, burying his hands in her hair and his face in her breasts. He sucked and bit and nipped wherever he could get his mouth to. In turn, Virgil flipped him onto his back, allowing him to ease into position. His belly looked smaller when he lay on his back and she teased him gently about how big he was going to get. She had to grip the headboard to steady her rythme. He gasped and tried to match her. Being already a tad out of shape he made up for his lack of cardio by kissing any part of her he could get at, clawing her back, vocalizing in ways that would later make him blush to the tips of his ears. 

When they finally fell apart, satisfied and panting, Martin snuggled up to Virgil’s chest again. “Mhmmm, you’re not cross about the porn thing then?”

Virgil raised an eyebrow and looked down at him, “This is your one and only pass” then she smiled, “you’re lucky you’re cute”

“Oh, and cuddly” he teased moving her hand to his stomach, “but that’s your doing”

“Jesus, did you read everything?”

“Every word” he responded, looking only a little sheepish. Virgil leaned down, kissed his forehead, then pulled the soft, flannel sheets up to their shoulders. He nipped at her neck, “So, now what? Cure the shadeless of world and collect scholarly honors?”

Viril ran a hand through Martin’s hair, “Maybe you do have a touch of Stockholm’s. You do seem to have an unreasonably high opinion of me” she kissed his forehead, “First, I need to write up an account of restoring your shade. Full case study. It’s a bit of a sloppy business scientifically; no controls or variable groups. That’ll get sent out to other shade researchers, more likely to healers in general, to see if they can replicate it. If they can, honors. If not, then what we have is a miracle that’ll get shot off to providence or luck or something to that effect. Either way, the proving could take decades”

“Luck didn’t fix me you did” he asserted, “Why on Earth would it take decades. I’m here. Concrete bloody proof”

“This is science love. Doesn’t mean a damned thing if it can’t be reproduced” she caught herself quickly, “The study doesn’t mean a thing, that is. You mean quite a lot to me. You know that right?”

“Mmmmhmm… I like hearing it” he grinned.

She rolled her eyes, “I’ll keep that in mind”

He inched up, taking the blanket up with him until he was up high enough to kiss her cheek, “You matter quite a lot to me too. Now stop avoiding my questions”

“It might take decades because shadless are rather hard to come by. From there you need them to be willing to get their shade back, they need to have survived losing it in the first place and then again until finding someone who can help, and on top of that they’ll have to be able to summon their shade. If the shadeless person can’t help but telling them what might summon their shade personally and there’s no one close at hand, they might end up summoning just about anything. Martin, you’re singular here. The wellspring kept you alive and you were willing to have it restored and capable of helping me restore it to you on top of that. Most people die in a few weeks time. If you hadn’t been in Fillory...” she shook her head, “it doesn’t bare mentioning”

A quiet settled over the room. The gravity of what might have been settled over them like a weight pressing down on their chests. The pair let the silence stretch, neither willing to get up just yet.

“Oh, gods… the wellspring” Martin groaned. “I’ll have to do something about that”

Virgil rolled onto her side and gave him a quick kiss, “Well, you did ask what was next”

“What the hell am I supposed to do about it?” he groaned.

“You’re High King aren’t you?” she teased, “As it happens, I’ve been commissioned by interested parties to work on restoring the wellspring. If you ask me, it sounds like something you and I can be doing together”

“I was an awful High King. I do like the sound of that though… mmmm… Let me go ahead and have the castle cleaned up. I may have left it in a bit of a state. Actually, bugger the castle, I keep a study just over the spring. Jesus, that needs a cleaning too” 

Laughing cut into his reverie. When he looked up Virgil caught him by the chin and gave him a kiss that made him want to sink into the bed and stay there forever. “We can cross that bridge when we get to it”


End file.
